SEZ IT ALL

(from GraphJam, hat-tip to Kat)

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LESS HONORABLE THAN A MODERATE

(Del Martin and Phyllis Martin at home in San Francisco, 1989; photo by Robert Giard.)

I find I do not (yet) have anything to add to John Aravosis's reaction to yesterday's decision by the Obama administration to not only decide to defend DOMA (in stark contrast to campaign promises), but to heap wood on the fires used to incinerate the human rights of my people. Read his initial post Obama defends DOMA in federal court. Says banning gay marriage is good for the federal budget. Invokes incest and marrying children. and later follow-ups at America Blog, including reactions from other progressives.

In his reaction above, John says "It's pretty despicable, and gratuitously homophobic. It reads as if it were written by one of George Bush's top political appointees." Bingo: John was right. He later discovered that "one of the three Obama Justice Department attorneys who wrote and filed the anti-gay DOMA brief last night is W. Scott Simpson, a Mormon Bush holdover who was awarded by Alberto Gonzales for his defense of the Partial Birth Abortion act."


And now, today, is an additional post I want to recommend from Joe Sudbay, also at America Blog, A Word About Barack Obama And The Lawyers In Our Midst.

For some, the decision whether to defend or oppose DOMA is purely a legal exercise...It's shocking how many people viewed yesterday's DOMA discussion through their own purely intellectual, legal lens. The condescending tone from some of the legal types, both straight and gay - all Democrat - was insulting, demeaning, and horribly out of touch (with their own humanity). Gay Americans lost rights last November in California. We had fundamental rights taken away by an election. Think about that. When was the last time that happened in this country?

Yesterday, a Democratic President of the United States of America, in the year 2009, and an African-American child of inter-racial parents no less, gave his lawyers the go ahead to compare our marriages to incest on the same day that 42 years ago the Supreme Court ruled in his parents' favor in Loving v. Virginia. And these people, along with our President, are suggesting that the appropriate response is to shrug our shoulders and go home, since, after all, the law is the law?

[Cross-posted at Group News Blog.]

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BROAD CAST 15 JANUARY 2009

Ken Jennings, superstar from Jeopardy, has his own blog and published the map above, which was created in 1999, probably appearing in Newsweek, and "purports to show Jeopardy! popularity regionally in the U.S".


Daily Routines: How writers, artists, and other interesting people organize their days. Fascinating details about how Emily Dickinson, Charles Darwin, Fred Rogers, James Thurber, and Joseph Campbell, among others, brought order to their hours.
(Screen capture from 1969-70 television show "My World and Welcome To It", based on life and work of James Thurber.)


For "news junkies and media mavens", Media Bloodhound has created a 2008 Fact or Fiction Challenge, a compilation of quotes and headlines culled from this past year at their blog. The trick is to tell which ones are real and which are satire.


An article by Fred Pearce in Conservation Magazine points out that bananas are "sterile, sexless mutants" which " has been at an evolutionary standstill ever since humans first propagated it in the jungles of Southeast Asia at the end of the last ice age". This means that almost all of us eat only one, massively sprayed variety, the Cavendish. And, as the article points out, it brings to bananas the same mono-crop risk that hit potatoes in Ireland in the 1840s. This plant may be on the verge of extinction. Read more at The Sterile Banana. Also at this site, an article on how the total number of natural disasters has quadrupled in the past two decades at Environmental Refugee Crisis.
(Banana flower before fruit; photo from Beechwell House Garden.)


A study conducted by Freedom to Marry "unequivocally shows" that "voting to support the freedom to marry and opposing anti-marriage measures helps rather than hurts politicians". A review of 1100 legislators' votes from 2005 to the present on laws concerning same-sex marriage and family protection demonstrated they are consistently re-elected. "In fact, these legislators are re-elected no matter what party they represent or if they changed their vote from opposing to supporting marriage equality. Even better, legislators who run for higher office win after voting in favor of marriage for same-sex couples." The study can be downloaded (as a PDF file) here or read online here.
(Card from Stella Marrs.)









The traveling contemporary art exhibition called Human/Nature: Artists Respond to a Changing Planet is a groundbreaking collaboration between museums, artists, and conservationists to bring attention and protection to eight World Heritage sites: Komodo National Park, Indonesia; El Vizcaíno Biosphere Reserve, Mexico; Southeast Atlantic Forest Reserves, Brazil; Three Parallel Rivers of Yunnan Protected Areas, China; the Galápagos Islands, Ecuador; iSimangaliso Wetland Park, South Africa; Mount Kenya National Park, Kenya; and Waterton-Glacier International Peace Park, which straddles the U.S.-Canadian border. The five-year collaboration is between the Museum of Contemporary Art San Diego, the Berkeley Art Museum / Pacific Film Archive, and the environmental organization Rare. Read about what the artists did at these sites at Human/Nature in Orion Magazine online.
(HDR photo of Devils Peak from WebEcoist.)

[Cross-posted at Group News Blog.]

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LESBIAN/GAY VIDEOS OF 2008

(Postcard from Stella Marrs)

Jennifer Vanasco, editor-in-chief at 365Gay.com, has compiled her list of the "8 top gay (sic) videos of 2008", stating "This year, gay videos were viral." I'm not going re-embed them all these (we've already covered some of them in GNB posts), but I will list them below with links.


1. Prop 8: The Musical! [covered by me in Civil Rights, Baby: Complacent No More.]

2. MSBNC talk show host Keith Olbermann devoted his "special comment" on November 11, 2008 to the issue of lesbian/gay marriage, asking those who voted for Proposition 8 and similar measures, "Why does this matter to you? What is it to you?".

3. When Sally Kern, Oklahoma State Legislator, thought she was speaking off mic and compared lesbians/gays to terrorists, The Victory Fund responded.

4. Talk show hosts -- Ellen Degeneres takes on John McCain

and Jon Stewart takes on Mike Huckabee

with bonus round Ellen Degeneres discusses Sarah Palin's stand on marriage.

5. In a PSA for ThinkB4YouSpeak, Wanda Sykes jumps on the hateful jeer of "That's so gay". [Note: This was before she came out at an anti-Prop (h)8 rally.]

6. Rachel Maddow discusses the "black vote for Prop (h)8" in California. [Note: I posted about this in No Racism: African-Americans Are Not Who Funded and Passed Prop (h)8.]

7. During the Vice Presidential debate, Vice President-elect Joe Biden said that lesbian/gay marriage rights are enshrined in the Constitution. And, as a bonus
SNL/Tina Fey re-enact the debate as only they can.

8. On BloggingHeadsTV, law professors Jack Balkin and Ann Althouse debate whether heterosexuals should lose marriage rights, too.


[Cross-posted at Group News Blog.]

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NOT IN MY NAME: NO NATIONAL PRAYER BY RICK WARREN

(Robin Tyler and Diane Olson being married at the Beverly Hills Courthouse, Monday, June 16, 2008, in Beverly Hills, Calif. AP Photo/Kevork Djansezian)

I'm not especially surprised that President-Elect Barack Obama has chosen to honor a Christianist fundamentalist like Rick Warren who earns his income and his standing by steadily endorsing hate beliefs against certain segments of American citizenship. Obama has seldom acted on his so-called belief in the human rights of lesbians and gays, not in a political sense. Him throwing us under the bus again was to be expected. I voted for him knowing he would.

What choice did I have? He knows that about us. Much of his gathered leadership knows it as well. If a point can be scored, a favor earned, by reiterating our expendability, they will do it. They're not progressives as I define the term, and this is part of the reason why.

But the choice to have Warren deliver his invocation at the inauguration is more than handing us shit on a plate with an extra-big spoon. It's a shocking mistake, I believe, for at least three reasons:


(1) It validates, in the grandest possible manner, the choice of Christian belief and behavior which seeks to punish anyone who does not agree with them. Validating those who preach intolerance does not promote tolerance and does not "turn them around" or encourage them to follow your example. He could easily have found another preacher who is just as devout, just as respected, who has not made a career from hate. Having a strong following should not constitute a right to lead prayer at an inauguration -- if that were the case, David Duke would be on the list.

(2) The November elections were a victory for progressivism in this country from coast to coast with one major exception, the passage of Proposition (h)8 in California which stripped newly won human rights from lesbians and gays in that state. Even as we celebrated Obama's victory, we mourned this simultaneous tragedy. One of the key figures in visiting this tragedy upon us was Rick Warren. He did everything he possibly could to pass Prop (h)8. How can Obama not comprehend the direct insult we feel at rewarding this man with personal access and a public pulpit? Is Obama that removed from our lives?

(3) The repressive events in California have created a backlash even among people who didn't necessarily support lesbian and gay marriage, but who now are uneasy at what they see as "going too far". That loss actually created MORE generic support for this human rights advance. Obama is pissing in the face of that groundswell, a tone deafness about public sentiment that is not usually demonstrated by him.

Warren is making the most of the limelight being handed him by Obama. He has again stated his equation of lesbian/gay marriage with incest and pedophilia. He claims that in 5000 years of human organization, marriage has never been defined as anything but a man and a woman, in every culture and every religion, which is a flat-out lie: Even early Christianity practiced polygamy. And countless cultures have not only endorsed polygamy (polygyny and polyandry both), but marriage between two people of the same gender. He is of course ignoring the marriage practices of brown people before Christian conquest (who are not really people to white evangelicals, because they carry the mark of Cain), but also the fact that same-sex marriage was sometimes done in Christian churches during the Middle Ages. There are books of reference material on the subject. He knows better. He's playing to the "We get to hate you because you're unnatural" crowd, which is what funds him.

THIS is the man who will lead the inaugural prayer?

I'm not attending the inauguration, but I can promise you that if I were, I would not participate in prayer led by a hate-monger. I would make my non-participation visible and vocal. We have the right to such protest in this country -- at least, we did until the Bush regime began stripping us of it -- and where better than at the swearing in of a man whose campaign vowed change and listening to others? I'm a pacifist, to my bone, so I advocate only legal and intelligent protest. Stand up and turn your back. Lead an alternative mass prayer in many languages. Sing the national anthem and drown out the voice of a man who seeks to forcibly impose his hate-based view of love and intimacy on others. These are a few ideas which come easily to mind.

And for those of us at home watching on television: Get up, go to your front door and shout "Equal rights for everyone in America!" until the sham prayer is over.

But do not let Rick Warren speak for you in G*d's name. Not at the inception of this Presidency. Obama's mistake does not have to be ours.

Pass it on.

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NO RACISM: AFRICAN AMERICANS ARE NOT WHO FUNDED AND PASSED PROPOSITION (H)8

(Protest at Mormon Temple, Los Angeles, 6 November 2008; Photo by Meghan Quinn for The Advocate)

In follow-up to the excellent post by Minstrel Boy this week concerning the blow to lesbian/gay rights in California, as well as my addendum and especially all the excellent comments and discussion which ensued, I'm copying in here a letter I just received from Kathryn Kolbert at People For The American Way. She urges all of us to not resort to racism in our efforts to understand this defeat and strategize about what to do next.

Let me be clear: Lesbian and gay people in this country are not any whiter than the general population. African Americans who are not gay are no more likely to vote against lesbian/gay rights than white non-gays. Yes, it was definitely people who voted for Obama who also voted against lesbian/gay rights in California, in Florida, and elsewhere -- but to assume those voters were primarily African American is racist, folks. And, it is falling prey to the deeply pathological lie that we are somehow not all in this together, that we must fight over who gets a piece of the pie.

To my lesbian and gay comadres, I'll say again what I've been saying for decades -- racism is as much our issue as marriage rights. If you don't have a multi-issue approach toward liberation, you are in trouble from the outset and you will not have my support for your endeavors.



The reality is that our human rights have been the flashpoint, the money-maker, the grease on the wheels for the Religious Right for decades now. The Advocate states "the Mormon Church raised, depending on estimates, anywhere from 48% to 73% of the money behind the effort to pass" Proposition (h)8. So, if you want to take an effective stand, get on board the effort to have tax-exempt status stripped from the Church of Latter Day States. One website explaining this option, to stop taxpayer subsidies of intolerance, also has a petition you can sign. The United Kingdom has taken preliminary steps to strip the church of its tax-exempt status. You can support the courageous stance of Mormons For Marriage, who are publicly opposing their church's oppressive behavior. You can join those who are organizing protests outside Mormon temples, as reported in this Advocate article.

And, as Minstrel Boy told us, by clicking the links below you can donate to
Lambda Legal Services
or
ACLU
or
National Center for Lesbian Rights.

To this list, I'm now adding:

The National Black Justice Coalition, a civil rights organization dedicated to empowering Black same-gender-loving, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people. The Coalition works with our communities and our allies for social justice, equality, and an end to racism and homophobia.
and
The Audre Lorde Project, a lesbian, gay, bisexual, two spirit and transgender people of color center for community organizing, focusing on the New York City area. Through mobilization, education and capacity-building, ALP works for community wellness and progressive social and economic justice. Committed to struggling across differences, ALP seeks to responsibly reflect, represent and serve our various communities.

The letter from Kathryn Kolbert:

"Yesterday, I sent an important edit memo to our partners and members of the media. Similar to the finger-pointing and back-biting going on in some Republican circles over their electoral defeats earlier this week, our side has been engaging in a bit of the "blame game" over the painful defeat of marriage equality in California. With passions inflamed and many people feeling understandable frustration, we must be careful to take stock of strategic missteps and areas where we need to improve the equality movement in a constructive manner, and not engage in destructive scapegoating.

"Here's an excerpt:

"The past 72 hours have brought an extraordinary range of emotions -- great joy at the election of Barack Obama and defeat of John McCain, and sadness and anger at the passage of anti-gay initiatives in Florida , Arizona , Arkansas and California . That sadness has turned to outrage at the speed with which some white gay activists began blaming African Americans -- sometimes in appallingly racist ways -- for the defeat of Proposition 8. This is inexcusable.

"As a mother who has raised two children in a 30-year relationship with another woman, I fully understand the depth of hurt and anger at voters' rejection of our families' equality. But responding to that hurt by lashing out at African Americans is deeply wrong and offensive -- not to mention destructive to the goal of advancing equality.

"Before we give Religious Right leaders more reasons to rejoice by deepening the divisions they have worked so hard to create between African Americans and the broader progressive community, let's be clear about who is responsible for gay couples in California losing the right to get married, and let's think strategically about a way forward that broadens and strengthens support for equality.

"Others have taken on the challenge of looking at the basic numbers and concluded that it is simply false to suggest that Prop 8 would have been defeated if African Americans had been more supportive. The amendment seems to have passed by more than half a million votes, and the number of black voters, even with turnout boosted by the presidential race, couldn't have made up that difference. That's an important fact, but when African American supporters of equality are being called racist epithets at protests about Prop 8, the numbers almost seem beside the point.

"Republicans and white churchgoers, among many other groups, voted for Prop. 8 at higher rates than African Americans. There are few African Americans in the inland counties that all voted overwhelmingly to strip marriage equality out of the California constitution. So why single out African Americans? Who's really to blame? The Religious Right.

"Please take a moment to read the whole edit memo here.

"I won't give up on equality and I know you won't either. People For the American Way and People For the American Way Foundation are already developing the strategies that will make our movement stronger. And we'll need your help. There will be several opportunities in the coming months and years for historic gains in LGBT equality and I know I can count on your support in the fights to come."

-- Kathryn Kolbert, President


(Video from protest at Mormon Temple in Los Angeles, 6 November 2008)

[Cross-posted at Group News Blog.]

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I NEVER WILL MARRY, I'LL BE NO MAN'S WIFE

Kat, who is a regular reader of this blog, writer at BitchCraft, as well as the Chief Expert on Ginny Bates, has forwarded to me a marvelous article in this weekend's New York Times by Caitlin Gibson and Rachel Manteuffel titled "The Anti-Wedding". She stated "Myra will enjoy this." Myra did indeed, and so did I. Thus, I share it with you.

A couple of the opening paragraphs:

"We are convinced that there is no justification for wedding insanity. We feel qualified to make this judgment as single women who have never been married or engaged, and have never planned an event more complicated than happy hour. But we have seen what happens to some intelligent, strong women when confronted by the multibillion-dollar Wedding Industrial Complex: Those few unattractive tendencies, weaknesses generally kept under control -- bossiness, melodramatic romanticism, obsession with looks, agony over superficial details -- coalesce into a toxic distillate. What chance does anyone have against an industry that seduces the rampaging feminine id? The masses need to be liberated.

"What if . . . we become Anti-Wedding Planners? What if we find a couple who shares our opinion and lets us plan their unorthodox, fabulously cheap anti-wedding, located -- we dream -- in a bus depot or a Laundromat? We envision the glorious reversal of typical wedding cliches: the symbolic release of dirty city pigeons in lieu of doves, bouquets of dead leaves, a buffet of peanut butter or grilled-cheese sandwiches. The wedding itself would be a statement, a metaphorical loogie aimed right at the wispy veil of wedding-obsessed America. It must be anti-industry, but pro-romance, because real love means knowing, This is my soul mate, even if (s)he's wearing a garbage bag."

Of course, Myra's (and my objections) go beyond weddings to the definition and meaning of marriage itself. But, as they say about a busload of Christian Fundamentalists going off a cliff: It's a start.

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DEL MARTIN HAS DIED, FINALLY LEGALLY MARRIED (UPDATED)

Del Martin, a lesbian-feminist activist whose life work for liberation on a number of fronts never stopped, died today at the age of 87. Her lifelong partner Phyllis Lyon, whom she married legally at last in California in June 16, 2008, was by her side. Kate Kendell, executive director of the National Center of Lesbian Rights, announced Martin’s death today at a San Francisco hospital following complications from a broken arm which aggravated her previously existing health problems.



More than 50 years ago, Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin fell in love with each other. At that time in history, to be a lesbian meant you could be arrested (not for any particular behavior, just for being who you were), fired from your job, evicted, and forced into electroshock treatment. It's astonishing enough they found each other at all. But when you read about their life together ---

Del had been married for four years and had a daughter. After she was divorced, she and Phyllis met in Seattle in 1950 when they began working for the same magazine. According to Wikipedia, "They became lovers in 1952 and entered into a formal partnership in 1953 when they moved to San Francisco together although unable to legally marry. Many years later, Lyon and Martin recalled how they learned to live together in 1953. 'We really only had problems our first year together. Del would leave her shoes in the middle of the room, and I'd throw them out the window,' said Lyon, to which Martin responded, 'You'd have an argument with me and try to storm out the door. I had to teach you to fight back.'"

"On February 12, 2004, Martin and Lyon were issued a marriage license by the City and County of San Francisco after mayor Gavin Newsom ordered that marriage licenses be given to same-sex couples who requested them. The license, along with those of several thousand other same-sex couples were voided by the California Supreme Court on August 12 2004."

At that time, Phyllis wrote: "Del is 83 years old and I am 79. After being together for more than 50 years, it is a terrible blow to have the rights and protections of marriage taken away from us. At our age, we do not have the luxury of time."

"In 1955, Martin and Lyon and six other lesbian women formed the Daughters of Bilitis, the first major lesbian organization in the United States. Lyon was the first editor of DOB's newsletter, The Ladder, beginning in 1956. Martin took over editorship of the newsletter from 1960 to 1962, and was then replaced by other editors until the newsletter ended its connection with the Daughters of Bilitis in 1970.

"Within five years of its origin, the Daughters of Bilitis had chapters around the country, including Chicago, New York, New Orleans, San Diego, Los Angeles, Detroit, Denver, Cleveland and Philadelphia. There were 500 subscribers to The Ladder, but far more readers, as copies were circulated among women who were reluctant to put their names to a subscription list.

"Lyon and Martin remained leaders of the DOB until the late 1960s, when they were replaced by women who were perceived as more radical and who had different goals for the organization. The Daughters of Bilitis disbanded not long after Martin and Lyon's leadership ended."

In 1967, Lyon and Martin became active in NOW. "Del Martin was the first openly lesbian woman elected to NOW. Lyon and Martin worked to combat the homophobia they perceived in NOW, and encouraged the National Board of Directors of NOW's 1971 resolution that lesbian issues were feminist issues."

In 1972, the two women helped cofound the Alice B. Toklas Democratic Club, whose purpose is "to support candidates, who are supportive of gay and lesbian rights, get elected to public office...In 1975 the club endorsed George Moscone for mayor over Dianne Feinstein."

Also in 1972, Lyon and Martin published Lesbian/Woman, a book about lesbian life in modern America, which became the definitive work on the subject for years. In 1973, they released Lesbian Love and Liberation, about lesbians and sexual liberty.

In 1979, Martin wrote Battered Wives, which blamed American domestic violence on institutionalized misogyny. Also in 1979, "Lyon-Martin Health Services was founded by a group of medical providers and health activists as a clinic for lesbians who lacked access to nonjudgmental, affordable health care. Named after Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin, the clinic soon became a model for culturally sensitive community-based health care. Since 1993, Lyon-Martin also has provided case management and primary healthcare in programs specifically designed for very low-income and uninsured women with HIV . In 2007, the organization added sliding-scale mental health services."

In 1989, Martin and Lyon joined Old Lesbians Organizing for Change. In 1995 Martin and Lyon were named delegates to the White House Conference on Aging by Senator Dianne Feinstein and Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi respectively.

In 2003 filmmaker Joan E. Biren (JEB) released a documentary film on the couple, No Secret Anymore: The Times of Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon, available from Frameline.

Del and Phyllis were everyone's choice as the first couple to be married in San Francisco yesterday after the historic court ruling on May 15 made California the second state to allow same-sex marriages. Mayor Gavin Newsom, who married the couple in 2004, personally presided over this second (hopefully forever legal) marriage.

Our love and grief go out to Phyllis Lyon and all those millions whose lives were given freedom and meaning by the trail-blazing courage and wisdom of Del Martin.

UPDATE: It find it heartening that Del's death is being covered by CNN and the scrawls at the bottoms of our local news broadcasts -- truly a testament to how far she brought us in her life.

At her specific request, she asks that in lieu of flowers, donations be made to the No on 8 compaign to defect the California proposition to ban marriage rights for lesbians and gays. To make a gift, go here.

In related news, Hallmark recently announced that will begin selling congratulations cards specifically designed for same-sex marriages. As you can imagine, the Right is up in arms about this decent and respectful decision, and are flooding them with protests. If you would like to express your support of their stance, as a consumer and a caring American, you can call Hallmark directly and leave a message or contact your local Hallmark store and expression your approval.

To call Hallmark, dial 1- 800-425-5627, dial 4 and then 5 to reach an operator to leave your message.

Or go to Hallmark store locator to find one in your area and call them directly.

(Cross-posted at Group News Blog. Much of the above biography was first published by me at my post Old Dykes Getting Married, the day after their herstoric wedding on June 16, 2008. A full biography of Del Martin is available at her obituary from the National Center for Lesbian Rights.)

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CITY HALL POEM

(The steps of San Francisco’s City Hall the day after Valentine’s Day and during the first week that San Francisco started issuing same-sex marriage licenses)

I just dug out a poem I wrote four years ago that's an interesting synthesis of two of my recent posts and the fulcrum -- San Francisco City Hall -- between them. In February of 2004 two of my friends here, Jen and Jackie, flew to California to get married. I read this poem at their celebration party afterward.

21 MAY 1979

Tear gas hangs in the air
A just-visible cloud
You can thread your way around it

We went up the alley beside AAA
and rode the Market Street trolley
down to Noe Valley, where we'd
left our cars going to a rally
We thought

Getting on after
the riot had hit the news was
my first taste of accepting their
fear in lieu of respect
Eleven of us filed up
the narrow stairs, paid fares
Booted, wet bandanas at our necks
Loose clothes, buzzed hair
Everybody on the car went not just
silent, but still. Not even nudges

Here's a bit of trivia you might not know
When a police car burns, at some point
the siren goes off and doesn't cease
until the car is almost gutted
In a city plaza Stonehenge-stelaed
by massive government buildings
this wail is contained, bounced back and forth

We burned eleven cop cars that night

I remember how the fags would
muscle slam a parking meter
until it shifted from the concrete
three or four of them on a side, boys
in leather chaps, sissies grown up
Grunting, laughing, until it moved
like a molar come loose, and
they could rip it from the sidewalk
Sakrete bulbous root at one end,
the other a metal lozenge with
EXPIRED showing through the window

They'd lay it in their arms and heave
it back and forth, like someone in
a sling, until with their cheer, it launched
in an arc flicker-lit by burning cars
Carried up by sirens, exploding
through the filigreed windows of
that City Hall where Milk and Moscone
had been gunned down by the
cops' chosen boy, using his
never-turned-in service revolver

The next day on my delivery route
I made a point of swinging by
Every window on the front was
boarded up with raw plywood
Car-sized scorch marks on the
streets around the square
Crowds of people on the sidewalk
stood shocked and silent in the
steady light of midday. Suddenly they
knew, and we knew, we could be
pushed too far. Cops rode three to
a patrol car that day, and I got
four tickets for made-up violations
before, with gritted teeth, I scraped
off my delivery car the sticker I'd
pasted on the bumper that morning:

IF YOU'RE WHITE IT'S NOT CALLED MURDER

That City Hall are the steps you climbed
to be married, to get a piece of paper
I would never have believed could
carry our names. I can hear the wheel
clanking to the end of its circuit, and
the whir as it rests a moment before
starting round again. Here you go



© Maggie Jochild
10 March 2004, 1:53 p.m.

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MUDDIED WATERS: BLOG AGAINST THEOCRACY

Friends, I am participating in this weekend's Blog Against Theocracy event in the blogosphere. If you click on the link, you'll find a list of all the other blogs who are likewise participating, and discover some very fine reading, I'm sure. I'll be keeping my post on this at the top of my site all weekend, despite posting other essays later.

**************

When I was thirteen years old, I became an atheist. I was definitely not pressured into this decision. My father's parents were fundamentalist Baptists -- Bible Baptists, as they are known in that part of Oklahoma. My father was not quite as vehement as them, but definitely carried their DNA. Mama had become a convert to Hinduism and the teachings of Edgar Caycee after our return from India, which certainly made her unique in the small Texas and Louisiana towns where we lived, but she was not an atheist. I had been pursued by the local Baptist Church in one town, where I prayed, learned missionary skills, and attended revivals.

Until I changed my mind. It was an honest comfort to give up on g*d and accept I was alone with things. Alone with all of humanity and nature and history, which was plenty. I had to keep my atheism secret, of course, except from my mother who was astonished but not upset with me.


(Easter 1967, Dilley, Texas: Maggie, age 11, and her little brother Bill, age 8)

As my adolescence progressed, so did my social conscience. By the time I was 20 and an official bleeding heart revolutionary, my ethics and morality were at fever pitch. I explored and became comfortable with other spiritualities -- wicca, Judaism, Buddhism, the Society of Friends -- but as cultures, without an accompanying belief in g*d. I liked being an atheist. It gave me freedom, especially of the mind.

Things began changing, again without an outside influence I can trace, when I was in my early 40s. I began, slowly, to have creeping tendrils of what, for lack of a better word, I called faith. Faith in something immense, unknowable, which loved me (in an abstract way) and all the universe, something which was the universe and yet also distinguishable from it. At that point in my life, I had a good job, a strong community, my health and a sense of hope. I didn't need g*d, but there she appeared.

I was enormously upset by this internal change. It was akin to giving up being a lesbian, that cataclysmic an identity change. I didn't talk to anyone about it for a long time. When I did confide in friends, a few were upset with me. Some didn't see what the big deal was. One or two were going through a similar experience, which was a relief.

I found I wanted to talk over -- well, deism -- with people for whom it had always existed. The faithful, as it were. But I was terrified of being preached to again. Eventually, I found two women at work, both friends, who became trustworthy confidants. Both of them were devout Christians, one from a scarily Baptist background, the other German Catholic. But, to their everlasting credit, they each absolutely resisted any urge to proselytize. They listened, explained concepts and terms when asked, and, repeatedly, affirmed that it was fine for me to doubt. One friend held me on a beach as I wept, looking up at the stars and freaking out about the very idea of g*d. She never said one word I could construe as a push.

That was 1997 or 1998. A decade later, I'm still feeling my way. Most days, I'm a deist, though not every single day. I have intermittent faith, idiosyncratic definitions, and no conviction there is an afterlife. I do not believe I am made in g*d's image, I assign a female gender to g*d only to make a fucking point, and I don't think g*d is looking out for me (EVER) in an individual way. I resist egotism and arrogance as part of faith, to the best of my ability. And I am definitely not a Christian.

A couple of years after I had to give up being an atheist, my world crashed and has not stopped deteriorating. I lost everything I listed above as my assets, except my inner strength and self-love. I even lost my brain for a while. I'm grateful that my shift in identity occurred before this crash, so I have no doubts about why I might have changed. I didn't have to find g*d, I wasn't driven to it by desperation. That's important to me.

But the point about the timing of it all that I want to make for this essay is: I am not convinced my coworkers would now be able to resist the temptation to preach at me. Nor can I imagine myself now feeling the same degree of trust in conversation with those who are practicing Christians. We have, as a culture, been shoved toward theocracy so hard, so contemptuously, that polarization has crept into personal relationships everywhere.

Freedom of religion includes freedom FROM religion.

The idea that our governing institutions must include religious ideology is an ancient one, suited perhaps to small homogenous groups whose culture was also governed by geography. We outgrew its utility long before we finally adopted another way of doing things, just as we've outgrown economies long before they stop enslaving increasing numbers of the citizenry. It's manifestly clear that those who advocate a return to theocracy do so for either emotional (fear-based) reasons or its advantage in wielding power, or both.

It isn't enough to simply tell them No at every opportunity (which we still have not done). We have to refuse to allow them to frame the discourse. The change in atmosphere as indicated in my own personal life above reveals how successful the theocrats have been in subverting our belief system in this country. Fortunately, I don't have to explain here how this was accomplished and how we can change things: Someone else, Sara Robinson, has written it far better than I could in her series on Learning From The Cultural Conservatives at Campaign for America's Future (hat tip to Jesse Wendel at Group News Blog for promoting these essays and gathering the links together). Read them with enjoyment at --
Part I Messing With Their Minds
Part II Talking Up The Worldview
Part III Taking It To The Street

I'm going to focus, instead, on advocating the removal of existing theocracy from our current government, and that's the institution of marriage. As a lesbian-feminist, I have absolutely no interest in trying to make the definition of marriage as it exists stretch to cover me and mine. I of course comprehend the need for all the tax breaks, legal protection, and validation of our families that occurs with state-sanctioned definitions. But "marriage" carries a residue of religious meaning that taints it, in my opinion.

What I want is for the government to stop conferring legal value to ANY marriages, anywhere; to switch the definitions and support to civil unions, without discrimination as to how those unions are formed; and leave marriage to religious institutions. It's a relic, like baptism or many funeral services. We bury the dead without necessarily invoking g*d, let's do the same for those creating loving commitments that they wish to have legally recognized -- just as we grant divorces without church interference.

And, while I feel concern for all those children being raised in toxic religious environments, kept from public schools or association with those whose belief systems differ, indoctrinated with fear and judgment -- and I do worry about their eventual dysfunctionality when unleashed upon our real world out here -- still, I know the best and brightest of them will find a way to independent thought, reality-based ethics, and love amongst us heathens. After all, I did.

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BROAD CAST 13 MARCH 2008: NO SHAMING, L/G MARRIAGE, LESBIAN GASTRONOMY, AND FANNIE LOU HAMER

(Stumps, woodcut from Tugboat Printshop)

Bennett Gordon writing for Utne Reader in an article entitled Confronting People, Creating Change writes:

'Scarlet letters and stockades went out of style in American culture as a way of creating social change, but public shaming is still very much en vogue. The phrase “shame on you” still gets thrown around in American politics, both overtly and in more subtle ways.

'The Jewish tradition Mussar teaches people that there are better ways of creating change. In the March-April issue of Tikkun (article not available online), Leonard Felder breaks down three steps that people should take when trying to right social wrongs. They are:

---Try a dignified one-on-one first
---Make sure you aren’t trying to blast someone for what you yourself need to be working on
---Put human dignity and peace ahead of any other rules or laws

'The guidelines not only help people act morally in conflict, they’re also often more effective than public shaming.'

(Photo of Elana Dykewomon)

For those of you following the current California Supreme Court case considering the rights of lesbians and gays to marry (which some folks I know are because they got married there and if the ruling is overturned, suddenly all those weddings will become legal contracts), here's a quartet of good articles on the subject.

Around the U.S., High Courts Follow California’s Lead, from the New York Times, about how and why "The California Supreme Court is the most influential state court in the nation."

Gay Marriage Attracting Skilled Workers To Massachusetts, an article at 365 Gay which explains why "Massachusetts is reaping huge financial gains as a result of same-sex marriage."

Same-sex marriage yields 'protest burnout', an article from the San Jose Mercury News discusses why "Scene outside state Supreme Court building surprisingly tranquil as hallmark case being heard".

Also from the Mercury News, Sacramento columnist Daniel Weintraub discusses the reality that Same-sex marriage inching toward general acceptance.

Lastly, an op-ed from the Los Angeles Times titled Civil unions aren't marriage explains "The M-word does matter, and courts should make that clear."

(Postcard by Liza Cowan at her post Design Process)

For those of us who do believe being a lesbian is "about what you eat", AfterEllen has interviews by Dara Nai with the three lesbian chefs on the latest installment of Top Chef in Meet the Lesbians of "Top Chef " Season 4.

Meanwhile, compost maven and aficionado of dyke culture Holly Rae Taylor's new blog, Waste Free Living, makes me (and Myra) happy by posting an actual recipe in Lesbian Kale Sauce and the 2008 Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera. The Lesbian Kale Sauce looks extremely delicious, except apparently you should greatly reduce the amount of wasabi in it unless your mucous membranes are toughened up.

(Photograph by Dorothea Lange of an African-American man living on a cotton patch near Vicksburg, Mississippi, July 1936)

UPDATE: In one of my annotation posts, where I elucidate the cultural references included in my novel Ginny Bates, I had a meaty section about Fannie Lou Hamer. I've just discovered an extraordinary ten-minute video on YouTube, Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired, about Hamer's life and impact, created by two seventh-grade girls. It's inserted below. Do watch.

(Hat tip to Mogolori, a commenter at Daily Kos who posted the link to this video in her comment on MeteorBlades diary about Mississippi civil rights history, Mississippi Turning.)

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HETEROSEXUALS FOR MANDATORY MARRIAGE (Hmm)

("Good Girls", photo and copyright by Christa Renee)

As mentioned in my most recent Broad Cast post, last week a Burlington, Vermont guerrilla action theater group calling themselves Heterosexuals for Mandatory Marriage (Hmm) made their presence known at the anti-gay-marriage presentation of a Utah-based rigid marriage front. What the Burlington Free Press article did not cover was the Hmm Manifesto read aloud during the begrudgingly-granted Q&A.

Thanks to our excellent sources, I can now share with you the contents of that manifesto (below the fold). Enjoy!

Heterosexuals for Mandatory Marriage. (Hmm)

We all know something is wrong with the modern world, with our world. There is too much selfishness and greed; too much I WANT. We have a solution and it’s called GROW UP! That’s right, Americans, you need to stop acting like spoiled brats and start acting like grown ups and realize that rights and responsibilities are earned, not given.

That’s why we at Heterosexuals for Mandatory Marriage (Hmm) demand that the government stop spoiling its citizens by giving them what they want, and instead force citizens to earn their rights by growing up and getting married.

Did you know that state and federal governments already grant over 1000 rights and responsibilities to married people that are not granted to unmarried people? So why can’t all rights and privileges be reserved for the real grown ups among us, the responsible, the hard-working, the married.

We demand that only married people be allowed to vote, own homes, drive after ten p.m., adopt pets or children, and have access to unlimited credit at extremely high interest rates.

We demand that mealy-mouthed organizations like the Family Research Council stop beating around the bush and state what they are really arguing for: America as an even more stratified system of rights and privileges based on marital status. We, the Family Research Council, and all right-minded Americans know that the only thing that will save this country from going to hell is Marital Apartheid.

Signed,
The Founding Members of Hmm

Mrs. John Smith
Mrs. Marian Haste
et al.

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