("Blue Moon", photo copyrighted to Oak S. LoGalbo)
I had trouble going to sleep, my mind on overdrive. Part of me was occupied with plotting issues for Pya, which is autobahning along on a multithread track and allows no room for fudge or dither. But I've also been standing under the canopy of a PBS docu I saw last week, What Darwin Never Knew, and relocating current issues in my firmament based on the new thinking the show stimulated in me: How to effectively respond to the utter repudiation of the Obama administration of the core values on which it ran; how to deal with a sizable percentage of the population which is functionally deranged from race, class, and gender conditioning; how to survive when I have no income, no health insurance, and no mobility/transportation in the midst of capitalism's collapse. Stuff like that.
Since getting up and going to another room requires an effort of muscle and will that leaves me weak to the point of lightheadedness and a fever spike, my ability to lead, inspire, or even respond is often measured in minims these days. I'm bored with this reality, the current moment by moment journey. It feels like there is no more to be learned from it. I'm old enough to know that in itself is a clue, that appearance of stasis. Oh, add it to the list of what I need to fix, will you?
To quote myself from the finale I wrote for Actual Lives' performance at the VSA International Festival in D.C. 2004: What if I don't get better?
I guess I'll find out.
On the fun-to-think-about screen is last night's episode of The Good Wife which completely tore apart a Glenn Beck/Rush Limbaugh hatemongering TV host hiding behind the right to free speech with the assistance of a liberal judge afraid to require accountability from those who are not journalists but instead are deliberately getting rich from inciting lie-based violence. It was an unequivocal expose of how this form of media among us is destroying lives, trust, and community health -- done with great writing and acting in the middle of a hour-long drama series. Wahoo.
Well, that's all the time and energy I can spare today for reporting. I have difficult items on my To Do list (as usual) and no immediate reward in sight. Except that the motivation is, at bedrock, love of self, and that's a return I can bank against tomorrow. Catch you later, sportsfans.
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