SIGN. ME. UP.

 

Okay, look: I am a Kinsey 6. I came out to myself at age 9 and I have never been interested in heterosexuality. To quote Therese Edell, "The number of wimmin I've had would make a good man cry". I was a foot-amazon for the Second Wave, I have never given up radical lesbianism, and I remain well-connected.

So why have I not been told about the Homosexual Cabal that supposedly steals elections, thwarts Christian ideals, and draws up an Agenda I've never seen? Somebody hook me up, please. I WANT the kind of power they ascribe to me, and I most earnestly promise I will be up to no good with it.