Sunday, November 23, 2008

WHAT'S UP

Sunlight and stones on river bottom (Sunlight and stones on Canadian river bottom; photograph by Paul Nicklen)

So. Here's the scoop. (Part of the scoop.)

I can't pay my rent in ten days. The only reason I'm not evicted yet is because others have paid my rent. And phone bill, and utilities. The only reason I have food for Thanksgiving is because someone else at this blog sent me money to buy groceries. I went almost five days without a solid meal last week. I'm out of most of my medications, and I don't have health insurance. And my good, generous friends are tapped out.

I'm trying to get emergency help, but it's unbelievably complicated. Hard to do when you're hungry and freaked out.

It's so hard to admit all this. I grew up in poverty, and I'm back there again.

I have a job but the hours have been slashed because people aren't going to the hospital if they can possibly help it, aren't seeking medical care that can be postponed (I hear that). I have no family to lean on, no means of leaving my house for assistance. Scary shit.

The most I can manage at the moment, aside from what I'm already doing, is to share this with you. An act of faith, and going against shame. The only way through some things is through it.

Thanks for being here.

8 comments:

little gator said...

And the rest of the scoop?


further response in private mail.

kat said...

Maggie,
I'm not even sure what to say....

While I sit here trying to figure something out that doesn't make me sound like a chump, please know that I'm thinking about you.

boom said...

What she said.

Maggie Jochild said...

Hey, ya'll. I'm upright and able to move a little after 24 hours of rather severe left ovarian pain, cramps, fever, and general hormonal hell. I ovulated around this time last month (after having been in what I thought was menopause for a solid year) and seems like it's returned this month. The worst is over, though.

I do love being a girl. Really.

Anyhow, now I'm bowled over by your response. I had a giant cry about it yesterday, and am due for another one now. I have enough $ to meet rent, pay my phone bill, and buy at least one very needed (quality of life) medication. Unbelievable bounty.

I was too miserable to sleep much today, and let me tell you (as if you don't know) daytime broadcast TV is entirely judge shows and Tyra Banks. How many channels is that woman on? But tonight there was a two-hour PBS special called "The Rape of Europa", about the Nazi looting of Europe's art legacy, and I learned tons. In particular, I kept weeping over how many ordinary people risked their lives to protect paintings.

Art keeps us going. It certainly has kept me not just still breathing, but still hoping.

Bless all of you. I don't know whether to name names or not.

My mother thanks you, and my father thanks you, and my ancestors thank you.

It's a new world taking shape out there, and I want to be around for as much of it as I can. Rest assured, I'll never stop doing good.

Liza Cowan said...

Phew, Mags. I'm glad you have enough to pay the rent and some bills. Tough times, for sure.

I just want you to know that I'm thinking about you all the time, like a small flame under the cooking pot, or something like that.

Now if some savvy publisher would pick up Ginny Bates....

tokyoterri said...

Maggie, you are in my heart and prayers, so I can send that kind of help now, and will send the other kind asap.

lots of love and warm hugs,
Terri

Ojibway Migisi Bineshii said...

Hey thanks for sharing and glad everything is okay! I am exactly where you are at. Right now it is humiliating to my ego (not my spirit, lol) that I have to ask my folks to help pay the bills. When I am wondering where my Master's degree got me and why the world is the way it is.

We can make it through sister!

Peace and blessings to you!

little gator said...

The CVs pharmacy chian has a new program for some coomon generic prescriptions wher you canget a 90 day supply for $4, if I remember right.