Saturday, February 6, 2010

AS WE EXALT ATHLETICISM CHANNELED THROUGH THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY...

My suggestions for new Olympic sports:

(1) Contestants must have cruciate ligaments of one knee removed entirely, other knee without cartilage or matching end-plate surfaces, tibial and talar surfaces must also meet at diverging angles, and visible bony outriggers beneath skin on both sides of one knee.
(2) Contestants cannot lift more than 5 lb and should not use abdominal muscles (which are not really avaiable for much anyhow) to change position or exert self.
(3) Current venue precludes rotation of left shoulder.
(4) Both hands exhibit strong tremors during fine motor activity.
(5) Some thumb and finger oppisition is limited or delayed, but this is intermittent (at referees' discretion.)
(6) Asthma flares after a minute of exertion.

CRIPTATHLON challenges to include:

Opening shrink-wrap around almost anything.
Opening "child-proof" medicine caps.
Opening juice and beverage bottles.
Transporting any sort of meal from one room to another while leaning safely on a rolling walker.
Tying shoes.
Pulling up pants if skin is sweaty from exertion.
Getting items from floor three feet away.
Filling out lengthy, repetitive forms in longhand because government websites are always down after 8 years of George W. Bush.
Answering dozens of emails wanting a personal response to "How are you doing? What's new?"
Wiping ass. (Bonus points if contestant has had explosive diarrhea.)

I'm due for a Gold medal but I can't get up on the winner's stand. And will someone please raise my clenched fist into the air for me during the national anthem?

Thursday, February 4, 2010

HUBBLE THURSDAY 4 FEBRUARY 2010

(Aurora Crowns Jupiter's North Pole)

Every Thursday, I post a very large photograph of some corner of space captured by the Hubble Space Telescope and available online from the picture album at HubbleSite, followed by poetry after the jump.

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Tuesday, February 2, 2010

LOLCATS WEEKLY ROUNDUP 2 FEBRUARY 2010

Here's the weekly best of what I've gleaned from I Can Has Cheezburger efforts. There are some really creative folks out there.


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Sunday, January 31, 2010

PYA: CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE


To begin reading this sci-fi novel or for background information, go to my Chapter One post here. To read about the background of the first novel, read my post here, which will also direct you to appendices.

For more detailed information, posted elsewhere on this blog are:

Pya Dictionary from Skenish to English (complete up to present chapter), with some cultural notes included
Pya Cast of Characters (complete up to present chapter)
Owl Manage on Saya Island, original plans
Saya Island Eastern End After Development
Map of Pya with Description of Each Island
Map of Skene (but not Pya)
Map of Saya Island and Environs When Pyosz First Arrived
Map of Saya Island, Teppe and Pea Pods Environs After Development
Skene Character Lineage at Midway Through Pya Novel
Skene, Chapter One (With Cultural Notes in Links)

CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE

Lovemaking between Maar and Pyosz underwent a change, becoming less ferocious, still urgent but even more prolonged despite having less extra time for it. Pyosz murmured "I want to give you pleasure beyond the human scale, I think of ways to do it when I'm waiting to see you again, I want to melt my body into yours, I wish I could be inside your extraordinary mind -- right there, hmm, I found the spot for this moment? Oh it makes me ache when I spread your legs like this, my Maar, an ache only the rest of our days together can satisfy."

During one afterglow near dawn, Maar was tracing Pyosz's face with moonlit fingertips and she said "It's your mouth that undoes me, claims all of me."

"You like my wide pillowy lips?" laughed Pyosz, nibbling at Maar's thumb.

"No -- I mean yes, lev yes, but what I was referring to is the way you talk to me. We're always in conversation, it's how we discovered each other, and the way you talk, the rich kindness and ardor of your voice, the things you say -- I can't wait for what's next" said Maar. "I see everyone around you hold their breath a little when you're about to speak."

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