Tuesday, April 13, 2010


Here's the weekly best of what I've gleaned from I Can Has Cheezburger efforts. There are some really creative folks out there.


Jesse Wendel said...

Reminds me of the time either the very very young children (or I... perhaps it was I) put the cat IN the dryer. For reals. And turned it on.

Took maybe ten, fifteen seconds tops, to figure out that INSANE SCREAMING was the kittenz inzanitly howalllling.

In case you were wondering, if you take a kittenz that has been nom nom nomming for a day or two, and you spin her round and round and round on HIGH HEAT with the White Sheets in the dryer for 10-15 seconds, the sheets will no longer be white. The material on them however will be hot. And runny. Leading to such questions as, should I wash the sheets again, throw them away, and am I going to get an infection from using the icky sheets to mop the blood off my arms after the kittenz ran up my legs and chest, over my neck and down my back, leaving me in need of a transfusion and 273 stitches. Nice Kittenz.

This is just one of the nine lives that cat went through. Our other cats had gentle, careful, beloved lives. This cat was half-insane and clawed damn near anyone whom came near. It also had other, much rougher incidents occur, leaving it near death several times. In spite of this it went on to become a mother several times, and a grandmother (we lived in the country at the time and loved kittenz.) The cat lived longer than any cat we ever had, and went through a BUNCH of homes with us.

I see I've not even mentioned the time it was almost killed in a hurricane plus a tornado. Along with myself, my then-wife, and our three daughters (our son not yet being born.) Why we had that (at that point very very young kittenz, as in perhaps 8 weeks old) in the car with us as we drove into the eye of an oncoming hurricane with our three daughters. Personally, I say it's just more evidence of how insane that cat was, and how it drove everyone around it to attempt to kill it in the most bizarre manner possible.

Although I will say, you really do NOT want to see what's all over white sheets after a howling kittenz has been on HIGH HEAT for 10-15 seconds going Thump, Flop, ka-ka-Whump, Plop, POW, Wham, and EEEEEIIIIEEE! I'm just saying, what came out of that cat was in no way cute. Furthermore, none of my daughters stuck around to help clean up the sheets, although someone did help bandage my wounds from the fracking kittenz claws.

Dinuh said...

Survs U rite