Sunday, September 7, 2008


Scene from Pillowtalk with Doris Day and Rock Hudson
Kat, who is a regular reader of this blog, writer at BitchCraft, as well as the Chief Expert on Ginny Bates, has forwarded to me a marvelous article in this weekend's New York Times by Caitlin Gibson and Rachel Manteuffel titled "The Anti-Wedding". She stated "Myra will enjoy this." Myra did indeed, and so did I. Thus, I share it with you.

A couple of the opening paragraphs:

"We are convinced that there is no justification for wedding insanity. We feel qualified to make this judgment as single women who have never been married or engaged, and have never planned an event more complicated than happy hour. But we have seen what happens to some intelligent, strong women when confronted by the multibillion-dollar Wedding Industrial Complex: Those few unattractive tendencies, weaknesses generally kept under control -- bossiness, melodramatic romanticism, obsession with looks, agony over superficial details -- coalesce into a toxic distillate. What chance does anyone have against an industry that seduces the rampaging feminine id? The masses need to be liberated.

"What if . . . we become Anti-Wedding Planners? What if we find a couple who shares our opinion and lets us plan their unorthodox, fabulously cheap anti-wedding, located -- we dream -- in a bus depot or a Laundromat? We envision the glorious reversal of typical wedding cliches: the symbolic release of dirty city pigeons in lieu of doves, bouquets of dead leaves, a buffet of peanut butter or grilled-cheese sandwiches. The wedding itself would be a statement, a metaphorical loogie aimed right at the wispy veil of wedding-obsessed America. It must be anti-industry, but pro-romance, because real love means knowing, This is my soul mate, even if (s)he's wearing a garbage bag."

Of course, Myra's (and my objections) go beyond weddings to the definition and meaning of marriage itself. But, as they say about a busload of Christian Fundamentalists going off a cliff: It's a start.


liza said...

that's funny. The busload thing.

kat said...

Glad I could entertain. I know some totally reasonable feminists who have been completely ensnared by the wedding industrial complex. What's weird is that they are realistic about marriage and the inherent roles and patriarchy that they're trying to's really weird.

Even the supposedly "untraditional" wedding I went to still bought into all the useless bullshit.

Except my best friend, that is, but she wouldn't be my BFF is she fell for marketing/social pressure stuff.

Ojibway Migisi Bineshii said...

I would love to become an Anti-Wedding planner, ha! I am totally against marriage because its another institution to bust from patriarchy, ownership and controlling consciousness. So why adhere to it?! "Weddings" are also an industry and largely targeted at women. I say no way, I am happy here right now with me. Nobody has to complete me except maybe animals, the land and my cat! =)